The Story
For most of my adult life, I thought I was a grown man because I had the things grown men have. A job. A family. Bills. Responsibilities. Gray hair starting to show up in the mirror.
But every so often, something small would happen. A comment in a meeting. A tone of voice at the dinner table. Someone not calling me back. And I would feel something rise up in me that had nothing to do with my age. I would get defensive. I would go quiet and sulk. I would replay the moment for days, building my case like a lawyer.
It took me far too long to see it. I wasn’t reacting as the man I was. I was reacting as the boy I used to be. The years had piled up, but somewhere inside, a younger version of me was still running the show when things got hard.
That realization is what led me to write The Maturity Gap. Not because I had it figured out, but because I finally admitted I didn’t.
The Scripture
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”
1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV)
How I Understand This Scripture
Paul wrote these words in the middle of his famous chapter on love. I don’t think that placement is an accident. The way I understand it, Paul is saying that real love requires real maturity. A child loves based on what he gets. A mature person loves based on what he gives.
I also notice that Paul says he put childish ways behind him. It was a choice. Maturity didn’t just happen to him with the passing of time. He had to recognize those old ways and deliberately set them down.
My Reflection
Here is what I have come to believe. Maturity isn’t about becoming someone new. It is about returning to the person God intended you to be before life’s wounds bent you out of shape.
Many of the childish reactions we carry are really protective habits. We learned them when we were hurt, and we never let them go. The defensiveness, the need to be right, the shutting down, the people pleasing. They once kept us safe. Now they just keep us small.
The good news is that the healing we need was already released at the cross. We aren’t trying to earn wholeness. We are learning to walk in what Jesus already paid for.
So today, ask yourself a simple question. When I get hurt, how old do I act? Your honest answer might surprise you. Mine did. But that answer is also where growth begins.
A Prayer
Father, thank You for seeing who I really am beneath every wound and every habit I picked up along the way. Show me where I am still reacting like a child. Give me the courage to put those ways behind me, not in my own strength, but in the freedom Jesus bought for me at the cross. Lead me back to the person You created me to be. Help me love others the way a mature heart loves, by giving instead of taking. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Before You Go
If this spoke to you, please don’t keep it to yourself. Share this post with as many people as you can. Send it to a friend, post it on social media, text it to someone who needs it today. Someone in your circle is fighting this same battle quietly, and your share could be the thing that reaches them.
If you want to go deeper, The Maturity Gap walks through twelve chapters on recognizing and closing this gap, with reflection questions and a group study guide. You can find it on Amazon.
And come join me at www.christaff.net. Sign up to get new posts, updates on upcoming books, and encouragement for the journey. I’d love to have you along.
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